emotional education in the business world
"It seems somewhat problematic to target this type of program to adults, because it's hard to get to them, "said Matthieu then. This does not mean we should resign ourselves to sacrifice an entire generation, but it is clear that if we start pointing the school system, everyone could take advantage of it, and maybe then we could develop the equivalent in adult schools. What other way but could reach adults?
-Matthieu just addressing a very important time, "said Mark, and Dan might want to talk more about it. What are the benefits of learning the business field of emotional intelligence? The field of early childhood education makes relief is not enough to practice alone, but requires repeated, daily exercise, or at least regular and which are highly rewarded. The change is difficult, and the effectiveness of the weekend workshops is often very limited. This is precisely the problem faced by the psychotherapeutic approaches that are limited to one hour a week.
Therefore, the continued practice of Buddhism can teach us many things. How can we develop a model that included repeated practice? And if I referred to the workplace, it is because everyone is going to work every morning.
"It is also good from the perspective of benefit account, "I said.
And all this is a great advantage, "I continued, taking a look at the data in my books The practice of emotional intelligence and leadership creates more resonant, in which I analyze many findings that demonstrate the close relationship between intelligence emotional and productivity of workers and the effectiveness of leaders. 6
What do you think is the difference, for example, among the vendors who bill worth a million dollars a year and those who only do a hundred thousand dollars? What do you think is the difference between workers 'star' and the merely mediocre? Because I must tell you that difference seems to lie both in their technical skill or intelligence, as in the way they manage their emotions, especially their destructive emotions, "ie, their degree of motivation, perseverance and the type of relationships established or, as suggested by Paul, the sensitivity to others, the way they interact with them, and so on. That is ultimately the most important variable in this regard.
"And the same could be said about leaders with great success. What do you think, then that is the variable that explains the performance differences between different sections of a large multinational? The key benefits of an enterprise also depends on how the leader manages his emotions and relationships. Those who can not manage their anger and awaken easily exploit the anxiety of the people around them which obviously ends up influencing the trade performance of the company they direct.
- Are not they then asked the Dalai Lama aggressive leaders successful?
- Aggressive in what sense? I asked.
-arrogant, assertive.
"That's not what they seem to indicate the results of the investigation.
-long term, "said the Dalai Lama I completely agree with you, but it seems as if people were more aggressive success, even if only a temporary success.
"Studies," I said that clearly show the effect of emotional style of the leader in the emotional climate of their underlings. And I must say that if the weather is good, profits are higher because in that case, employees are at their best. If, however, workers do not like your boss, or feel uncomfortable in their jobs, are limited to strictly comply with its function without need for a performance optimum which, eventually, ends up being detrimental to the company. Thus, leaders whose styles are more positive are more inspiring, because they know articulate shared values \u200b\u200bfor their employees find meaningful work. Such leaders know how to create a positive emotional climate in their companies, which necessarily affects the profit.
Similarly, leaders who know more harmonious relationships among its employees and also take time to know them better results. And the same could be said about the leaders who ask their employees: "What do you expect your life and your career?" or "How can I help you develop your expectations?". Finally, leaders who cooperate with their employees and those who make decisions after listening to all the world also have a much more positive impact.
But the authoritarian leader, the leader who says, "That's because I said so" has a very negative effect on the climate of the company. Perhaps, this type of leader to be effective in very specific occasions when, for example, the company is facing a very urgent situation, or when subordinates should follow clear guidelines. But if that's the only way to direct available the leader, its effect will be clearly harmful. Many-
Contact Mark concluded, "for the reasons that explain the benefits of such programs to the business world. And how to apply is very similar to the model outlined by Matthieu. These are not things to be learned in a seminar or workshop on a weekend, because people need much time to change their basic habits, which obliges us to serve the working environment so that, thus, exercise may be continuous. Thus, the chief of bad character attempting to increase should take advantage of any situation that this work environment to practice a daily for many months. Only then is change possible.
A new problems, new remedies
The Dalai Lama said he was very pleased with the almost unanimous agreement to develop a practical program ... but also seemed a bit cautious, since he had seen too many groups excited about projects that we never take place. In addition, also doubted that the external world share the same enthusiasm that our small group for such programs.
Then, the Dalai Lama raised a practical concern. He had warned that people do not seem to have great difficulty in accepting the urgent need to address problems associated with poverty and disease. But when a society becomes more prosperous and healthy, there are other problems (which very well could fall under the heading of the destructive emotions) for which, so far, it seems that we have adequate resources.
"I said I think we can help create a better world, but demand may be very limited. Here we have assembled a group of people from academia, but you all already have some interest in this regard.
I wonder if their acceptance the need for change and the possibility of developing some sort of program to get it reflects a general attitude, at least among his colleagues in the university world, or whether this group represents only a small minority.
"There are many, in my opinion," said Richie, people interested in the same problems that have brought us this far. The American Psychological Association, for example, which is the largest organization of psychologists in the world and brings together forty-five thousand professionals in the field of psychology, has launched an initiative called Positive Psychology, focusing on the blossoming, and I stressing that it is precisely the term used of human beings. In his view, psychology has spent too much time focusing only on negative aspects, and now is the time to deal with the positives. For this reason, I sincerely believe that the academic community has already recognized the need to pay attention to these things. The Dalai Lama
satisfied nodded his head.
"I think," said Paul-and that interest goes beyond the purely academic and has come to permeate further business and the medical community. This is not to say that all these areas recognize how much they can teach Buddhism, but only that we are increasingly aware that we are not adequately addressing the problem. So I think frankly that there is wide recognition in this regard.
"That's what I think," agreed the Dalai Lama.
A certain consensus on what is wrong
-long term, "said Mark Greenberg, I would add that the religious crisis and relations that today afflicts many cultures, not just United States, has led to a fragmentation that generates a lot of violence. The media invite me quite often to discuss issues related to violence, and the first question to me is usually: "What can we do with violent children?". Then I also ask more general questions like "What do you think is wrong with our society?" "Why do you think lack of social controls and even adequate internal control that allows us to address more appropriately the subject of violence? "
- What does" social control "" I asked, because it is a term that connotes certainly totalitarian?
-The excess of violence that have become the media of the United States is a clear example of this lack of social control, "said Mark, and lack of adequate regulation of the use of firearms, obviously is another. All these are issues that in our society, they generate a lot of violence.
- Do not you think so, 'said the Dalai Lama, which, if our discussion reflects, somehow, the interest of the society on this matter, should be invited to participate in the largest possible number of people and disciplines ? Maybe then we develop a plan of action or a very clear and practical proposal and send it to any government organization or even the United Nations. Francisco Varela
third, then, in the debate from a somewhat different perspective:
"His Holiness has heard the views of some of my friends here, all Americans and perhaps, therefore, do not constitute a sample representative of the population. U.S. culture is quite peculiar and does not reflect in any way, what happens in other countries like France, where I currently live. France takes centuries to attach great importance to education directed toward intellectual development and is a tangible example of the importance that the West attaches to reason at the expense of emotion. It is true that French children have a fantastic education, but the fact remains that education is disproportionately geared toward performance wise. Therefore, in my opinion, it will take much effort to implement this white elephant, so to speak, since there is no public awareness or recognition of the need to develop both emotions and therefore relationships. That would, in the case of France, a truly revolutionary idea.
While everyone recognizes Today the problems generated by social violence and there is even a movement to review the education system, it is nevertheless a movement that does not leave a shred of traditional parameters. It is true that from time to time, there is the odd novelty about it, but I would not be so optimistic about the situation where we really are. The Dalai Lama
Francisco coincided with perhaps a new program such as ours can stumble in European countries like France, with great resistance, but also believed that the United States as a country more diverse and young, such Once you are more open and experience can serve pilot to experience this new alternative in the event of successful, could end up being exported worldwide.
essential thing in his view, was taking action because he had already attended too many enthusiastic debates that eventually dissipate into nothingness. Thus warned,
"I think it is very important to make sure that these talks will not remain a mere declaration of principles, but must come to implement them. It is better to do now that we are, as they say, hot. In itself, this conversation is a good karma, but needs much more to implement all these ideas. Paul
then proposed a meeting, which, in fact, held a year later in Boston with a much wider group to outline the program in question and can also design their scientific evaluation.
The development of attention-seems
Matthieu said, turning to focus our attention on the specific content of the program that we all agree on the importance of the three points made by Paul, all introspective nature. In the final analysis, the best we can do is check what happens in the mirror of the mind, for which just a few minutes. "We could do it in small doses and repeated for a total period of between twenty and forty hours," agreed Paul.
"Not many people trained to carry out an introspection silent for three minutes a day," said Matthieu.
-To ensure that we are not inventing the wheel should then said as a warning to Owen, who had assumed the role of skeptic learn what has been done about it, at least within the field of ethics education the U.S. public schools. The late Harvard psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg, and example, undertook a major effort in this regard, and many schools are now applying their techniques. The children in these schools, for example, have games designed to allow them to take the perspective of others. These schools operate as communities and they think of something similar to what Dan told us in the business world, as the principal and teachers do not hesitate to sit down and talk with students to ensure that everything works fine.
The lack of social controls speaking Mark is certainly regrettable. When Americans hear about issues such as "ethics training" or "developing intelligence emotional "think they are trying to impose a set of values, not realizing that one way or another, the establishment and is imposing its own value system. If it is difficult to change the current laws regarding the possession and use of weapons, the more it will be to reform the education system unless we find the right way to present the absolute need for these changes. And I must say that in this sense, I find very interesting some of the ideas put forward here.
-hundred years ago, "continued Alan Wallace William James published a beautiful little booklet, Talks to Teachers, in which applied some of its principles of psychology to the field of education. One of the key themes of the book revolved around what he called "sustained voluntary attention" and in this regard, noted the existence of other people clueless and more attentive.
The book revolved, so certainly fascinating, about the role of sustained attention in the areas of morality, education and a thousand other important facets of human life. In his opinion, the best education system is one that promotes the development of the ability to maintain voluntary attention, in Buddhism, is called mindfulness, introspection or Shamata, mental stillness.
In a conversation with a Stanford education professor who has worked extensively in the field of secondary education, he told me that I spent most of the time forcing students to pay attention and just a little to convey some to other content. And, while James spoke of the need to train sustained attention, also admitted that he "did not quite know how."
Although Buddhism has much to teach the West, our program would not have to be a Buddhist. One need not believe in the Four Noble Truths or the karma nor should limit the practice to become aware of breathing, thing, moreover, that the ten year olds can not. Another area of \u200b\u200bresearch might address precisely this point, the exercise design-oriented culture back in the form of short sessions of sustained attention. And I think, for this, should focus on different types of physical activity. Thus, a century after James was launched, we may find ourselves now in a position to respond to his challenge. This could be an element of the curriculum.
The day was nearing its end, and in conclusion, I went to the Dalai Lama and said
"Youhas also presented a challenge that has excited us. I believe that we are able to get something really positive.
I ask whether, in the event that this go ahead and end up organizing a meeting with more people to develop the program, we can count on you.
"Of course," and then added. Obviously, my presence is not necessary, but if I could be of some use, I have no hesitation in telling me.
"No doubt they will remember all this when the time comes," I concluded. I think this has been a very fruitful meeting.
Then the Dalai Lama stood up and wished us good night. When he left the room, was very pleased by the enthusiasm he had shown the group in developing a practical program that could help counter the power of destructive emotions. Then he mentioned the Tibetan proverb that says "these words have been sent to the wind" and I knew that whatever happened, the dialogue had clarified its intentions in this regard.
Richie also told me I was very surprised that the debate had finished the day leading to a plan of action, but the outlook was very interesting. And although the Dalai Lama was not present, was very pleased to learn that, after dinner, a small group continued the discussion and sowed the seeds of what later would become an emotional literacy program for adults who now goes by the name " The cultivation of emotional balance. "
FOURTH DAY DOMAIN OF EMOTIONAL SKILLS
March 23, 2000
10. CULTURE LAINFLUENCIA
mid-sixties, the young Paul Ekman visited Margaret Mead, one of the most distinguished anthropologists of the last century, to explain the research project was about to undertake. The project in question is proposed to investigate the facial expressions of a remote tribe in New Guinea had not yet been tainted by contact with foreign mass, and still less by the influence of modern media. Ekman pictures of Westerners would entail displaying a series of basic emotions, like fear, disgust, anger, sadness, surprise and happiness with the intention of proving the degree of recognition showing members of the tribe.
Mead believed that, like happens with customs and values, facial expressions are extremely variable and showed no cross-cultural interest in the project. But, as later confessed in his autobiography, that indifference is derived from its implicit social agenda because, as many social scientists of his time, believed that all forms of racism-from the colonial to the fascist wielded the differences between peoples as a "demonstration" of its alleged biological inferiority. Mead and others, meanwhile, supported the idea of \u200b\u200bflexibility of human nature and believed that these differences are both genetic and environmental and therefore can be improved.
But, as noted by the Dalai Lama in Ethics for the new millennium, beyond our cultural differences, all human beings share the same condition-the same biological equipment, which makes us brothers. In fact, research by Ekman highlighted our common heritage, as the tribesmen of New Guinea were perfectly capable of recognizing the emotions expressed by men and women of a culture and a society completely alien to yours .
By highlighting the universality of emotional expression and, consequently, the existence a common biological heritage for all humanity, full Ekman enrolled in the same lineage Darwin scientist whose work he then began to read carefully. As Ekman said in his recent comment to the expression of emotions in animals and man, of Darwin: "Social experience affects our attitudes toward emotion, articulates the feeling rules and expression and prescribe and fit specific responses that are most likely to appear before a particular emotion, or, in few words, culture determines how we express our emotions. But then adds: "The form of expression of emotions is ie, the specific configurations of muscle movements, appear to be fixed and allow an understanding between different generations and cultures, within the same culture, between strangers and acquaintances. "
In the field of human sciences there is a maxim that "to some extent, a person is like any other, from another perspective, it looks like some people and, from a third point of view, it looks like anyone. " In this regard, research conducted by Paul Ekman around facial expressions has focused primarily on the first statement (ie, in the universal issues) and has only paid occasional attention to the third one (individual differences). Cultural studies, meanwhile, deal with the intermediate level, ie the distinctive features that people have the same cultural background. The latter was precisely the perspective provided by Jeanne Tsai our debate.
Jeanne has always been very interested in the study of cultural determinants of emotion. That was the focus of studies and research conducted before graduation and during the time of our dialogue as associate professor at the University of Minnesota (from where he went to the department of psychology at Stanford University), contributing to their studies vision of a participant observer, as his parents, both university professors, were immigrants from Taiwan.
Jeanne's parents came to America as students of physics. The director of the nursery were asked not to talk to her in Taiwan so as not to infect her accent (-but the fact is that English is your second language, would have been far preferable to speak had been limited to Taiwanese and who had learned English angloparlantes People directory!)
Jeanne grew up in Pittsburgh where, at that time lived very few Asian American families. Then the family moved to California, where he studied Jeanne at Stanford majoring in Berkeley. It was only after moving to California, where there is more Asian-American population, when Jeanne began to realize that many of their beliefs and behaviors were closely linked to its eastern education.
Put more specifically, Jeanne then began to realize that many of the things I felt and how that felt, among which include feelings of humility, loyalty and concern for how they feel others were very Taiwanese. It was then realized that European-Americans often misinterpret modesty as low self-esteem or a lack of self confidence. All of these understandings mobilized interest in the cultural determinants of the psyche, a theme that brought together perfectly scientific and personal interests and could look closely at Stanford.
At the time he wrote his doctoral thesis on the differences in relationships between young and old Americans of Chinese descent and those of European origin, the field of cultural psychology, which had experienced an earlier peak in the years experienced a rebirth full sixty. Jeanne and her classmates were engaged in identity politics characteristic of late eighties and did not stop to question what it means to be an American of Eastern origin. This led to wonder about the impact of culture as we are and how we feel, think and behave and, as a psychologist, he began to scientifically investigate the influence of culture on human behavior.
Jeanne decided to make his senior thesis at Berkeley to study with Robert Levenson, a leading researcher who was beginning to analyze the differences intercultural and intergenerational intergeneric determinants of emotion. At that time it was when Jeanne began the research that is also the issue that we address this morning.
The beginning of the day
Before starting the session and while the participants were taking a seat, I asked the Dalai Lama in an aside how he was. And although he said he believed that his cold was "improving" as the weather, which also began to clear, the fact is that the cough did not leave him all day.
The monk who was busy cleaning the room kept immaculately clean, with a dedication which also made its bow, but could not play that scientific material left on the table. That morning, the tablecloth Green covered the table was full of papers, cameras and removed the brain model, in addition to regular recording equipment. It was as if that image would reflect the energy mobilized during the previous day which had lasted several evening talks on the possible development program for emotional balance.
then introduced the day's session by appealing again to the metaphor of the tapestry:
"Yesterday we weave our carpet and beginning to see clearly the presence of a pattern. Richie talked about the neurological foundations of afflictive emotions, ie what happens in the brain during the experience of Three Poisons and our possible intervention to improve the process. It is clear that brain science can tell us much about the issues that matter to the Buddhist view (as, for example, if consciousness is or is not exclusively confined to the brain), but no doubt has much to tell us what we can do to improve our emotional life. We have already mentioned some of the key principles, one of which is that the learning experience and modify our brains to design training programs that allow us to better manage destructive emotions.
"I think the debate yesterday," I added, addressing towards the Dalai Lama was interesting. The idea of \u200b\u200bdeveloping an action plan to provide people with practical ways to implement the principles of secular ethics that you mentioned in your book was very inspiring. I think that's a very interesting project and we should follow the same path, not only with ideas but with actions. After the break for tea, Mark Greenberg will present some programs for the world of children who already appear to be yielding promising results.
"But we will begin by stepping back and watching all this at a much more fundamental. Such programs should be directed to the whole world. Therefore, we must not only pay attention to the similarity between people-that's what we've been stressing so far, but also some important differences, especially with respect to culture. What is the impact of culture on emotions? Does it affect the way so maybe we should undertake this project? What we should keep in mind to go forward?
"We are very fortunate to have the presence of Jeanne Tsai, the daughter of Taiwanese parents who immigrated to the United States. She grew up in a home sinohablante and, as a psychologist, has taken the study of culture with an understanding that emanates from her personal experience as an objective scientific approach. I must say that research is best when, as in the case of Jeanne, the researcher has an intuitive understanding of the topic. She will talk about the culture and emotion, a theme which, in my opinion, is a key part of our debate. "
During my introduction, Jeanne was full of suppressed excitement. At first glance, their shapes were very deferential, but when he started to speak, showed great composure and great clarity of expression. And although, at first, seemed a bit nervous when he spoke directly with the Dalai Lama began to decrease your stress.
The Dalai Lama specifically requested the presence of a representative of a scientific Eastern culture, and although he was suffering from cough, this morning seemed more attentive than usual and, for most of the presentation of Jeanne, sat in the edge of your seat watching how elegant and timid gestures underscored the sweetness of his voice.
different Ts
Jeanne began saying he was very honored to have the chance to talk with the Dalai Lama on the relationship between culture and emotion. Then it quickly fell subject by saying:
"In American psychology there is a growing interest in cultural determinants of human behavior and the understanding of the practical application of psychological principles to people of different cultural backgrounds, especially non-Western. And this is due to the growing U.S. cultural diversity, globalization of the world as more and more individuals who, like me, have been exposed to many different cultures and begin to intervene in the dialogue of Western psychology.
"Today I refer to the impact of culture on our emotions and our feelings. A few days ago, Paul Ekman talked about the universal aspects of emotion that are valid for individuals from very different cultures, and today I speak of how culture can establish differences in the way we experience the emotions. And I must say that these differences are very important to determine how we can encourage states and constructive behaviors and to minimize, for its part, the destructive. We also know that many valid applications for the U.S. or Europe, for example, are not as efficient for U.S. Eastern descent. Psychotherapy, for example, how useful it is for people with emotional problems, often displeasing to the members of Eastern cultures.
"What is the influence of culture in our emotional world? It must be said, first, that cultures are similar in some aspects and differ in others. Social scientists, for example, have determined that a difference in the respective vision I have of Western cultures and non-Western, a difference that, in turn, influences emotion, that is, how we feel. "
Jeanne noted that this influence is much greater in the higher outside the self that constitute the subject of debate today.
Then Jeanne said both ends of the continuum where you move the view of self held by different cultural orientations: "In one of the two ends of the outer layer is what psychologists Hazel Markus and Shinobu Kitayama called "independent self"-the self typical of individuals living in a Western culture, "according to which the self is separate from others, including parents, siblings, relatives and friends. These people believe that the self is essentially composed of values \u200b\u200band beliefs that is, attributes internal. 2
"At the other extreme is the" interdependent self ", typical of those living in Western cultures, who believe that the self is much more connected to others and is part of the same social context. In this sense, the interdependent self is defined in terms of social relationships and studies in this area have been conducted with people from the cultures of China, Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese and I must say that almost nothing-if it has done some research about it, "about Tibetan culture."
- And what happens then-third Dalai Lama, now living in India for Indians?
-have also been conducted with Indian culture. " The eastern members of different groups differ in the type of relationship where you focus your attention. In this regard, the Chinese seem to focus their attention on family relationships, while the Japanese focus more on family relations and employment, and the number of meaningful social relationships is also higher. 4 In this sense, I think the Tibetans have a circle of relationships even more. Jeanne
believed (though not explicit) that the strong influence of Tibetan Buddhism would to treat everyone with equal importance.
"I'm not so sure," said the Dalai Lama with a smile. Do not forget that there are many Tibetan nomads who live alone in the solitude of the steppes.
"How did we come to the conclusion," continued Jeanne, the existence of these different visions of me? Although there are examples from the field of literature and the arts, our job as psychologists begs the question directly to the individual. That is why we asked, "Who are you?" Individuals from varied cultures, a question that Americans, whose is more independent I usually respond by saying: "I'm outgoing, I'm friendly, I'm smart, I'm a good person, etc.", while members of Eastern cultures, whose interdependent self is usually respond by saying: "I am the daughter or son of such person, work in this or that company, I play the piano, et cetera. " For this reason, we believe that, unlike Westerners, Easterners are not defined both in terms of inner qualities such as the social role. " 5
always willing to bring up the facts seem to refute a particular theory, The Dalai Lama asked,
- How do you interpret then the Western tradition of assigning children the family name? Because it seems to imply a clear identification with the family, which, incidentally, Tibetans do not.
"That's true," said Jeanne, who was accustomed to such challenges, "but I remember that we have not studied Tibetan culture.
For Jeanne, the existence of such counterexamples merely illustrates the complexity of each culture and the fact that in all there are cases which contradict the prevailing model.
As a tacit statement of this point, Thubten Jinpa added
-Today, Tibetans are considering the need to use the surname of the family because, otherwise, it generates a lot of confusion. Tenzin There are so many that if you pronounce that name in a crowd, be rotated at least six people, "he said, sparking laughter from the audience.
"One must follow his own path or put others ahead of oneself?
"Different cultural views of self," said Jeanne recovering the thread of his exposure, determine the individual's life goals. In this regard, the vital goal of those with an independent self is to differentiate yourself. And that's something they carry out expressing their inner beliefs, saying how they feel and underscoring its own importance, especially in relation to others. U.S. culture is saturated with these messages: there is a well known Madonna song entitled "Express yourself", advertising insists that "one should follow his own path" and even a famous proverb says : "Whoever does not cry does not suck," which implies that only make noise and make known our views get the attention of others.
"But the goals of those who have a more interdependent view of self and, consequently, is more closely linked to the other, are very different. In this case, the subject is forced to silence their inner beliefs and minimize their importance. There is a famous Japanese proverb that says: "The head of whom stands in danger" that perfectly illustrates this type of message. In the Tibetan Children Village I saw a photo whose caption reads: "Putting others before yourself," it also conveys a message clearly interdependent.
"There are three ways in which different visions of the self influence emotion. First, determine the emotions that are desirable. In this sense, the West, for example, value the exaltation of self, while the East, meanwhile, also welcomed the modesty. Therefore, in the West, we like to say very positive things about ourselves. "
At this point, the Dalai Lama spoke in conversation again, unconvinced of the existence of such clear distinctions between Eastern and Western, which contradicted his belief that we share many more things than we differ:
- Are these differences are based statistical evidence? Is it valid to set this kind of generalizations?
"Yes," said Jeanne. Significant findings is valid.
Still skeptical, the Dalai Lama said a new counterexample: "But there could be exceptions, for example, Mao Zedong's famous assertion that the easterly winds end up displacing the westerly winds," he said with a wry smile.
"Obviously there are exceptions," admitted Jeanne. Jeanne
then said that cultural psychology is bound to highlight the most extreme cases when, in fact, within a given culture there is considerable variability. He also said that the first time anyone hears of cultural psychology, is often resisted, especially if that person believes that the failure to insist on cultural differences can help to divide people rather than unite them. And Jeanne, like myself, was somewhat surprised by the apparent resistance showing the Dalai Lama to the notion of cultural differences, as we expected a higher interest on their part in the cultural determinants of emotion.
The fact feel good about yourself
"So Therefore, Orientals, "continued Jeanne value humility, as if the fact of wanting to promote their relationships with others become more critical about themselves. In this sense, is most illuminating notion of self, that is, how we value ourselves, an attribute that measured by questionnaires that included statements such as: "Generally speaking, I am satisfied with myself, I feel I own positive qualities and I have a positive attitude toward myself. "
"The American culture values \u200b\u200bself-esteem so positively that the educational authorities of the State of California, for example, have committed millions of dollars to build self-esteem of their students. We believe that high self-esteem is good and that, conversely, low self-esteem is not only bad, but is related to depression and anxiety. Most interesting in this regard is that there is a significant tnuy difference between normal levels of self-esteem of Americans and members of Eastern cultures. "
6 Self-esteem was one of the main issues addressed in the dialogue Mind and Life that I moderated in 1986. As I mentioned earlier, this time, the Dalai Lama was astonished to learn for the first time that many Westerners are suffering from low self-esteem, that is, they do not think positively about themselves. What surprised him most was the idea that people are ignorant and therefore could have so little compassion for themselves that could only be kind to others. But the very idea that low self-esteem can be a problem reflects the other side of the American view of self, that is, an excessively high that people have of themselves, and anxiety they experience when they can not be at the up to that idealized image.
That would have been a perfect example to illustrate what Jeanne was trying to explain, since it supravaloración showing Americans by I led them to conclude that those who do not consider it just as they have a problem. It must be said that many cultures believe that much of the problem lies in excessive self admiration. Then Jeanne
projected a slide illustrating the ranking of self-esteem shown by several groups of university students:
1) Japanese who have never left their country
2) Japanese who have traveled abroad
3) Asian recent immigrants
4) Asians who immigrated long
5) second-generation Asian Canadians
6) Asian third-generation Canadians
7) Canadians of European origin
Accordingly, Canadians of European origin were the largest group of self-esteem.
"The greater the exposure of a particular group to the American culture seems to be higher self-esteem" said Jeanne. In this sense, the average American self-esteem is higher than normal among the Japanese. "
7 - Would have conducted studies aimed at determining the existence of any relationship between living standards and self-esteem? Then asked the Dalai Lama. Because it seems that, talking in general terms, the richest people could have higher self-esteem while the poorest people, by contrast, should have a lower self-esteem.
"Your statement seems very likely," said Jeanne, considering the complex factors that hinder the direct study of the possible relationship between self-esteem and socioeconomic status.
The idea-summed then Jeanne, is that, generally speaking, the Orientals have low self-esteem. And although, from the American perspective prevalent, it seems to imply a lower psychological health, the truth is that not the case and that just normal vision do not lead to enhanced both make themselves as Anglos.
What is more desirable?
conflicts and romantic love
Jeanne The second example presented to illustrate the effect of cultural differences on the emotional states is desirable to do, paradoxically, with interpersonal conflicts. This is an investigation conducted at Berkeley by Jeanne and Robert Levenson, comparing the relationships that keep the Euro-American university with similar relations of
sinoamericanos.8"Do not forget that they have different views of the self leads Westerners to highlight what differentiates them from others, while the East, meanwhile, tend to focus more on what unites them," he began reminding Jeanne. I must say that both groups live badly conflicts and disagreements, but that Westerners seem to value more positively than the Orientals, because they provide an opportunity to express its internal state. "
Jeanne data also showed the existence of a continuum that depends on the degree of acculturation of sinoamericanos. Thus, the more "Chinese" are the sinoamericanos, show fewer positive emotions during conversations conflictivas.9
- were people who loved each other? Then asked the Dalai Lama.
"Yes," replied Jeanne, were people who claimed to love and they carried out no less than a year ... I gotta say that is a long time for the partners of university-a comment that sparked laughter contained in Amchok Rinpoche.
- Guess you asked the Dalai Lama Jeanne then what was the theme-common, moreover, between the two groups of major disagreement between the couples?
- Perhaps the issues related to marriage? "Said the Dalai Lama after thinking a moment. And then clarified his comment by saying: I think the problems of the Eastern partners may be linked to obtaining a permit or at least acceptance, of their parents, which, in the case of Westerners, is not as critical because they have no problem in breaking with the family.
Jeanne then asked if the American partners of Eastern origin need parental approval to marry, to which he replied:
"Yes, some of them-but I think the couples studied were not in that situation.
-Regardless of whether or not some kind of imposition of the parents intervened again the Dalai Lama, their approval is very important for Asians. And so I would say that falls within the Western context and that, if the relationship between father and daughter is good, do not think the daughter desoiga the advice of his father.
After that comment, the Dalai Lama laughed merrily looking at Paul. During the day before, Paul and his daughter Eve had been talking with the Dalai Lama, and Eve had asked his opinion on how best to avoid destructive emotions in romantic love, to which he responded with a surprising advice: view the negative aspects of partner and thereby bring it down from the pedestal of idealization and consider it as a human being. In that way, "he said, expectations that one becomes the other person will be more realistic and less likely that you feel disappointed. He noted that the love must go beyond simple attraction and include respect and friendship.
That advice seemed to be related to the discoveries made by Jeanne, resuming the thread of his presentation, said:
"What is most interesting, Your Holiness, is that the biggest area of \u200b\u200bdisagreement was common to both groups (both Euro-American couples as sinoamericanas), since both were equally concerned by jealousy and the fact that the couple spent much time with someone else. "
" If human beings were truly rational and were properly trained to use their intelligence , it seems that jealousy should generate as many problems as the current secular society in which seems to have much sexual freedom, "said the Dalai Lama to make its logic to the realm of passion.
"Yes," replied Jeanne, but we are not always rational beings.
- Do not put this in question, then broke in Alan rationality of affairs university? -Arousing laughter from the Dalai Lama.
"Actually, all the romances" quipped Paul.
- Is not it true that from a Buddhist perspective, jealousy is an afflictive emotion? Is it so is romantic love? Then asked the Dalai Lama.
After a long debate, Alan explained that the exact meaning of "romantic love" is very difficult to translate into Tibetan and that the explanation had been given to the Dalai Lama "was not limited to a distressing feeling, but to a complex mix of identification, care and affection. "
That was the explanation given by clog Jinpa, a former monk who was now married and the father of two children.
In fact, as the same Alan said, he and Jinpa the Dalai Lama used to offer their own views on issues somewhat beyond those who carry a lifetime assuming a monastic life. Therefore, at the beginning, the Dalai Lama had assumed that the "romantic love" was the same as sexual desire, from a Buddhist perspective, fell directly under the heading of mental afflictions. But Alan objected to that conclusion, noting, for it, there is a grievous pity. In his view, were trying with mixed emotions and other distressing elements that are not, to what Jinpa added that no distressing aspects of romantic love include feelings of closeness, empathy, companionship, and others who end up shaping a form of cordial and lasting love .
"Romantic love," said the Dalai Lama seems complex, since it includes not only the sexual instinct, but also genuinely human factors. By that I mean that people do not feel romantic love to an inanimate object, but can be identified with him. So romantic love usually involves sexual attraction, and other human factors such as goodness itself and compassion. So, we can not say that romantic love is a mere mental distress, because it is multifaceted and includes, as we point out, sound and other distressing factors. However
"he continued, although not considered as a major distressing emotions, yes it is, from the Buddhist perspective, a distressing condition because it is based largely on attachment. And do not forget that the love and attachment distorts the sense of intimacy and closeness that one can experience. If you ask me whether, from a Buddhist perspective, there may be ways of this attachment, I would answer yes, because attachment can be very useful when associated with love and compassion. Jeanne
then summarized the reactions of romantic partners when they were talking about a contentious issue and mentioned the presence of negative reactions such as anger, hostility and opposition, as well as other hits, such as affection, happiness and respect.
"Our research showed that although there is no cultural differences in the rate of negative emotional responses, yes that is in the rate of positive emotional responses. In this sense, European-Americans experienced more positive emotions during the conflict that sinoamericanos, This seems to support the idea that Western society values \u200b\u200bmore positively conflicts Eastern societies. "
CONTINUED ....
0 comments:
Post a Comment